Comic Transcripts

[[Sign: Now Hiring! NEXT DOOR REALTY. The “Closer” Company]]
Man: Look at that. Now hiring. You want to be a closer? Or be closer. Not sure which it would be.
Woman: No way. Look at that font. Look at those straight quotes!

Woman: Straight quotes are math symbols. Held over in text from the days of limited typewriter keys. Get with the Times! No pun intended.
Man: Pun?
Woman: The sign. Times New Roman. Geez why did I even marry you.

Woman: Anyone who can’t pay attention to details like using the right quotes, I don’t trust to pay attention to details like, I don’t know, everything involved with buying a house.
Man: What if those are, in fact, entirely different and unrelated fields of expertise? You know about quotes, but you can’t sell a house. What if they’re just as good but in the opposite way?

Woman: Fine. Go buy a house from them. Just don’t come crying to me when all the stairways in the house turn out to actually be ladders.
Man: You’d think that’d be something one would notice during the open house.
Woman: “Oh, we thought it was all the same,” says the agent, showing off a kitchen faucet that’s just a straight pipe shooting water at the ceiling.

{{header: do some curls at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The closets are trash chutes. The garage is an old well. The doors are simply holes in the ground. At some point it becomes less a question of being confused about quotes as it is being confused about a lot of things.}}

#943; Don’t Give it to Me Straight transcribed by in

[[Sign: Now Hiring! NEXT DOOR REALTY. The "Closer" Company]]
Man: Look at that. Now hiring. You want to be a closer? Or be closer. Not sure which it would be.
Woman: No way. Look at that font. Look at those straight quotes!

Woman: Straight quotes are math symbols. Held over in text from the days of limited typewriter keys. Get with the Times! No pun intended.
Man: Pun?
Woman: The sign. Times New Roman. Geez why did I even marry you.

Woman: Anyone who can't pay attention to details like using the right quotes, I don't trust to pay attention to details like, I don't know, everything involved with buying a house.
Man: What if those are, in fact, entirely different and unrelated fields of expertise? You know about quotes, but you can't sell a house. What if they're just as good but in the opposite way?

Woman: Fine. Go buy a house from them. Just don't come crying to me when all the stairways in the house turn out to actually be ladders.
Man: You'd think that'd be something one would notice during the open house.
Woman: "Oh, we thought it was all the same," says the agent, showing off a kitchen faucet that's just a straight pipe shooting water at the ceiling.

{{header: do some curls at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The closets are trash chutes. The garage is an old well. The doors are simply holes in the ground. At some point it becomes less a question of being confused about quotes as it is being confused about a lot of things.}}

The closets are trash chutes. The garage is an old well. The doors are simply holes in the ground. At some point it becomes less a question of being confused about quotes as it is being confused about a lot of things.

#943; Don’t Give it to Me Straight

  — June 13th, 2013

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/943/

Buy a Print

New ways to get Bolted!

July 24, 2026 by David Malki !

In addition to buying things directly from me, the normal way, my game Bolted! is also now available on Amazon dot com.

On that famous website, you can also get the Creature-Crafting Magnets Set, which is made of the same artwork from the game, but is just a weird little trinket (not a playable game).

My kiddo made the elaborate version below to show off just how many magnets you get in the set (it’s 150 pieces in all — this isn’t even all of them).

Also now on Amazon is my set of Multi-Purpose Greeting Cards — a full dozen cards with envelopes in a fancy, unbranded, foil-stamped box!

Event alert!

I’ll also be showing off Bolted! at Greenwood Games, an event in Seattle this Saturday:

Greenwood Games is a free, all-ages community game event that invites players to spend the afternoon walking Greenwood Avenue from 65th to 80th, collecting clues, cracking puzzles, and discovering games made right here in Washington.

Think of it as Pride Hop, ArtWalk, and the Gumshoe all rolled into one,  except the whole thing is built around games and puzzles.​

Local game designers will be set up at different places along Greenwood Avenue in Phinney Ridge (near Ballard). My specific spot will be the “Holy Mountain Phinney Ridge Taproom”. All the information about all the different games & venues is on the website!

(If you’re in Seattle generally but not free tomorrow, Bolted! is also stocked at Blue Highway Games in Queen Anne.)

Next week, I’ll be at Gen Con! I personally will be hanging with my buddy Sam Logan at BFE Webcomics, booth #1217… but I have it on good authority that copies of Bolted! will be available at the CRWN Studios booth, #2549.

Visit one booth! Then the other! The order…is up to you.


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